Fear

When I was a kid I didn’t know what fear looked like. I always thought it was something like being shy. I was never really scared of anything. I loved climbing trees, sitting on ledges and chasing after stray animals. I knew what being scared was .. it was the feeling you got when you spilled milk on the table and were trying to clean up the mess before your mom returned to the kitchen!

But fear didn’t enter my vocabulary till I was 4 years old.  

The day I figured out what fear really looks like:

It was an ordinary day and I was travelling in the car with my family. We had stopped to pick up a few things on the way home and I decided to wait in the car with my dad and brother. After a while my dad sent my brother to the store across the street to get a loaf of bread.

While he was crossing, a car came out of nowhere and started speeding towards my brother. And he had his back towards it and could not see the car.

My father got up to shout to my brother but before he could do anything the car just sped away - missing my brother by inches.

My brother probably didn’t even realize how close he had been and was completely calm. While the look of terror on my dad’s face is something I will never forget.

Feeling scared is common but actually seeing it for the first time on someone else’s face was very different.

I know that this is not a thrilling story and I have seen much more and much worse things in my life but that was the day I realized that I did not want to ever see that look on my dad’s face again. If I could help it I’d do everything possible to make sure that he wasn’t fearful for us ever again.