Reflections...

Another year has come and gone – and yeah it’s a bit of a cliché but I decided to reflect away anyway...

 At least I’m not making any resolutions!

So here goes.. my reflections at the end of this year:

-          We may never really know why is life the way it is – Shit just happens and we just have to deal with it.

-          We are at a stage in our life where we have all the time in the world and yet it is so fleeting it could just pass us by without knowing.

-          I can do whatever I want – just wish I knew what I wanted to do???

-          God will always reward you for your prayers – just not always answer them.

Well, that’s about it... It didn't go out with quite the bang I hoped for – but I still got some time…

Happy New Year everyone! Stay safe and keep happy! 

a drawing of a dog!

Alrighty then... I just realized that my latest posts seem too heavy – so here’s a drawing of a dog - just to lighten the mood!

You can name ‘em whatever you like!  =)

The Constipated Module

The End.

Oh heavy be your insides after it has been taken apart

Not knowing how far goes the desire of my heart

I like the sinking feeling

It leaves me up and reeling

Standing on the edge is not alone

Many more be with you – by your side

Followers be warned

The end is exactly what it is..

The end of the end.

What’s it like to live life, you ask?

What’s it like to live life? I tell you, life is like a vast primordial sky.. never ending and you are just born falling.

Initially you have a lot of cloud cover and you feel very soft, comfortable and exist in almost a dream-like state - but they only provide a feeling of softness but don’t actually slow you down or anything like in the cartoons. But a false sense of softness prevails as long as the cloud cover remains. Once you run out of clouds its nothing but a clear view of the ground below and your impending death.

This process however is gradual. They begin to thin out as you age until you near the ground and there aren't any left.

However it’s not just aimless falling.. you do have an aim. And it is to catch a door! Yup, you heard it right… to catch a door! There are thousands of them – just flying around randomly. Some beautiful while others are hideous but the problem is that all of these doors have wings. They dart about the sky and you have to do your best to catch one and go through.

There are only three options. You either catch your door early on, or real late in life, right before you hit the ground or you miss all of them and fall straight to your death.

Of course there is the rare possibility that you may catch one with the tip of your fingers and manage to hold on long enough till you reach the ground and then finally the door slips away and you are left standing on the ground, scratching your head and wondering – “what next?”. But the probability of that happening is very low and this is quite possibly a myth.

But why are there so many different types of doors, you wonder? Well now this is the complicated bit – yup more complicated then catching winged doors when falling to your death. Some people actually catch a door and let it go to take a risk and catch a better one. Some manage that while others don’t – it’s entirely a game of luck. You can always accept your door or take a huge risk and try to catch a better one. Most people are too scared to take the risk and stick to what they get. While others manage to let go and catch many doors throughout their entire fall.

Your fall doesn't have to be a lonely process. You can always make friends while falling – hold hands, and help each other reach the door you want and/or propel through the sky in a team formation – this way at the end even if you never caught any door you still enjoyed the ride!

Now you can’t take it any longer.. WHERE do these doors lead to, you demand? Well… honestly I haven’t figured that part out myself yet .. I am still young and still have plenty of cloud cover to help keep me in a dream-like state to know or care!

Happy flying everybody!  

The Constant Heart Life Cycle!

Why jobs aren't so great – Letter to Dad

Hi Dad,

I finally got a job. It’s a prestigious organization… You can now brag about it to your friends J

I know you will go around telling people how awesome my job is, but Dad… I don’t like it.

I know I sound ungrateful especially when I had to work so hard to get this job but they give me such pointless, lengthy and boring things to do. Yeah I am still a junior assistant and this is to be expected but honestly dad is this what life is going to be like from now on?

Do I continue lying to people about how amazing my job is while in fact it’s just making me feel even more low and useless? At what point do I start believing my lies? Does everyone lie? Is everyone this miserable at work?

Why do I feel like I will be stuck at this desk forever and never get time to do the things I really want? It has only been a couple of weeks and all my major plans in life have already taken the back-seat. How long will it take for me get time off to do everything I want to do?

This feels like a prison with wooden shackles making me sit down when I want to run and hop and skip and jump and play. Will my back not hurt from sitting down for so long? Will my eyes not hurt from staring at the computer screen for so long? Will I ever get time to go outside and paint again? I am not sure if this is even healthy!?

Why is it so important for me to work here? Why would you find it demeaning if I quit and start teaching kindergarten? That is an important job too. It’s the first form of proper education a child gets and shapes their entire future perspective on education. I love kids. Why do I ‘have’ to be a feminist? Why can’t I be a housewife? They don’t get paid but have more fulfilling lives. Mom is a housewife. She is a great mom and I want to be that too. I would even have time to run an animal shelter like I always wanted and even volunteer more. Anything is better than working at an organization.

I always felt that there was so much more to life all through my student life. Now I don’t know what else to say dad.

I just wanted you to know how I feel.

-          Your daughter. 

Peripheral Poem

Being able to write poetry is an art form … not something I could ever excel at, the best poem I could ever come up with was more like a nursery rhyme:

Once I went down a path

And on the way I met a cat

The cat’s name was Buffin

He reminded me of the muffin

Which lay in the kitchen…

Where my mother was cooking a chicken

So yeah, that has been the standard of poems I could ever write. But recently I learned that most of the greatest poets were inebriated in some way or another when they came up with their best work.

So of course after reading that I was like hmmm……

Well long story short – this is what I managed to scribble down:

Peripheral

Lordy and blinding

Bumpy and lounging

Brisk and pounding

It races against my heart like a second heart

That beats ever more frantically then the first

I try to take my mind off things

But up it goes against my will

Hanging low like a dead bird on a telephone wire

I will hang your shoes one day

Only to see how far you will go (to retrieve them?)

I have no idea what I was going through my head at the time... and I don’t know what “Lordy” is .. Perhaps I was trying to say “Lordly”??

And I never completed the last sentence – it read: “Only to see how far you will go... “ and the rest was some indistinguishable scribble which I assumed would have been about retrieving a pair of shoes that have been hung high?

It certainly doesn’t feel like anything I have ever written before… Maybe this is what poets feel like when they read their work once they are sober?

Well I think it’s time to break it down and try to make some sense out of it

-          I have no idea what the starting is about – can’t seem to make head or tail

-          The part about the two hearts beating against each other seems to be a description of one frightened person comforting the other

-          I’m trying to recall what must have I been thinking about in the end – I had seen Tim Burton’s movie ‘Big Fish’ recently so that’s from where I must have gotten the idea of shoes hanging high?

And that’s about it I suppose… it will always remain a mystery unless anyone else can decipher it better than me –

 I am open to interpretations…