Tips on how to survive unemployment depression!

The end of the year is approaching and I just wanted to give a shout-out to all my unemployed friends out there .. hang in there mates!

I've been there and in the deepest pits of the depression that comes with being in this situation and look at me! I have survived! Yes my job is shitty - but I'm getting by and hopefully if I keep trying I might get something better too..

Well I have decided to share my survival tips with you all - I know most of you who read this, may agree with all I say but will be too lazy to do much about it at the end - but hey! My job is to take you to the well - whether you drink or not is all in your own hands.

Yes this post is a bit specific - it's for all of you out there who are unemployed and moved back in with your parents and have gotten super lazy to even bother changing out of your jammies any more .. I mean like what's the point? right?  Uhhhh.. NO! Of course there is a point .. not one point but maybe like five million of them!

You can't stay like this forever man! Wallowing in self pity - avoiding social gathering cause you think it's too awkward when any one asks you what you are doing nowadays and burying yourself in watching seasons and waiting for you mom to slide you a plate of food from under the door!

Personally I would recommend that you move out - at least that way you would be forced to think on your feet - and being a janitor to pay your rent despite that masters degree won't sound so bad! But I know most of you who are already in the doldrums won't bother doing that so no point.

So here are the tips: (Don't worry I will start small and with the little things first)

Tip 1: STOP WATCHING SO MANY SEASONS!!!

 I mean it! I know they are super addictive and help you cope and for a bit help you forget where you are and what you are doing .. but man it's taking away something very valuable from you! Your time! Hours slip by without you even realizing it! So stop! I know it's hard at first but what you need to do it take a pencil and paper and honestly list down how many shows are you watching? I'm sure the list will shock you!

Then start to prioritize - cross out all the crappy shows you which just for laughs or to pass the time and finally leave only 3 shows you really can't live without - yes I'm being kind here - ideally you should stop watching them altogether but I know they have some positive impact too occasionally watching them does you no harm .. and by occasionally I don't mean occasionally in a day .. but in a week!

This process takes time- I cut down from not letting one hour go by without watching anything to one day to now one week .. I only watch maybe two or three episodes a week .. which is the healthy limit you all need to achieve!

Tip 2: DRESS UP! (or as some of you would say .. SUIT UP!)

No I don't mean that you start wearing suits around the house - just simply dress up man! Just burn those pjs and sweats if possible! Get up in the morning and pull out your Sunday best - you don't have to save 'em for a special occasion or party or whatever.. just take a shower and iron your best clothes and wear them! Dress to the nines! Like you were going on a date with a hot person to the hottest party in town! or something .. just look your best! Ladies - pull out those killer heels and full on make up! No you are not actually going somewhere (sorry for that) but it’s a known fact that dressing up nice and looking nice will automatically brighten up your mood and day! You will feel good about yourself - and if need be it could motivate you more to work out a little and get in shape - yes we all know that you have been binge eating junk food secretly at home and could do with a little work out at least!

Going to the gym - exercising, yoga or whatever is known to boost your positive energy! And that's exactly what you need!

Yes, I know dressing up that much every day is exhausting .. but at least try to change into fresh and decent clothes in the morning - staying all day in sweats just makes you more lazy! Dressing up automatically makes you more productive!

Tip 3: EXERCISE!

Ok, I know you are down in the dumps and getting up to go out for jog seems like torture right now - especially when bed is so warm and cozy .. but we all know staying at home for so long has gotten you out of shape - imagine if you just got called for your dream job interview - would you wanna walk in looking like a fat slob? (Edit: some people got offended so fine I meant "out if shape" slob) So get in shape man! work out! Best thing to do is simply take a walk! (Brisk walk not a stroll) Get out of the house! Go to the park! If you don't have one nearby - a couple of rounds around the block never killed no one! And don't give me BS excuses about dangerous neighborhood and what not!

Tip 4: READ THE NEWSPAPER!

Why am I not telling you to watch the news and read the newspaper because it helps you keep track of what day of the week it is and plus nothing gets your mind going like reading does! Your you lazy people Read! Stay in touch with that’s happening around you and the world over! Gives an excellent impression in interviews anyway! Follow news items online on current happenings in your field -to the point where you will be able to impress people with how-up-to-date you are! And if you start feeling depressed again then read some more! this time I suggest some light reading - fiction was always my best friend - watching movies and season is fun - yes your brain works then as well to understand what you see on the screen but it REALLY starts to operate when you read ! Your imagination builds the picture in your head and frankly it's much more fun - you learn more and … you get my drift!

Tip 5: PUT DOWN THAT PACKET OF POTATO CHIPS!  (or whatever junk food item you have been binging on to try and uplift your mood)

Drink water instead! Hydrate! Get up early and eat a healthy breakfast! Have eggs! I believe in the power of eggs! There's a reason why people have been having them for breakfast for centuries! I don't care what you vegan-schmegans say! Eggs are awesome! They boost your energy levels and give you the perfect start to your day! (Now don't go overboard and start eating a dozen every morning - maximum two eggs will do). Also please - this only works once you manage to drag your ass out of bed early in the morning .. say between 6 and 9 .. yes I am being kind here too! I know for some you folks at home for months now even 9am is too early.. But do it please! I know you want to make your situation better and these are just small steps towards betterment!

Think of it this way! People working full time jobs rarely have the kind of time you have to do whatever they want! Use it to make yourself healthy - stay in shape - work on your skin (Even you guys!)

Tip 6: Contemplate! or meditate or whatever you wanna call it … I like to call it "sitting on a bench outside!"

Take your book with you - keep a pencil and note pad and a water bottle too (Those of you grumbling about dangerous neighborhoods take your walking stick/pepper spray or stocking full of rocks or whatever with you!) When we get depressed the common response is that we to try and escape it and we fill our days with all kinds of distractions like drinking or junk food or mindless TV or even drugs.. This all needs to stop! Go outside! You don't need a distraction! Be brave! Face what you are going through and sit down in preferably a park - and take deep breaths! Think about what is happening - think about what can you possibly do? Write down all and  any ideas that come to your head! You need to realize exactly what is happening - Ask yourself:

why are you not finding a job? or getting called for interviews or second interviews?

Are you even applying for jobs? 

Maybe you need to expand your sphere of jobs you apply for?

Maybe you need to brush up on your resume? Or add some more skills?

Work on your interview giving techniques?

Maybe you don't really need a job - maybe you have a brilliant business venture idea? And you now have time to focus on all of its pros and work out the kinks and turn it into a feasible business plan that you could work out a loan for?

Maybe you have an amazing talent and your youtube videos are not getting picked up by the right people?

Sitting at home and moping never helped anyone! Focus on what you are doing and what needs to be done - If you feel lost and don't know what to do then find out! Write down in your notepad that you need to do some research and figure out what needs to be done! Or ask a professional or even a friend or perhaps a friend's father for guidance - Perhaps someone already in the field you want to go in!

Make a game plan for yourself and whatever you do just be true to yourself! Stay practical and consider what all options are available and can be done in the short term and long term! 

Tip 7:  STICK TO A BLOODY ROUTINE!

Set an alarm - set 10 alarms if you have to! Wake up early and try to go to bed early too! Make a daily routine and stick to it! This is what your ideal day should look like:

 - Between 6am-8am: Wake up!

 - (If you are religious: Count your blessings)

 - Eat your healthy breakfast with eggs!

 - Stretch and go out for a walk/jog/run

 (Your choice  - eat breakfast first or jog first)

 - Shower

 - Dress up!

 - Coffee/Tea/Chocolate Milk! or whatever you like to have and read the newspaper! Online or physical form - up to you! (Read all the headlines at least - check emails and updates in your field and that’s it! I mean it! DO NOT OPEN FACEBOOK OR TWITTER OR whatever other social media thingy you are on! under any circumstances! - unless your work revolves around it or something .. then it's ok otherwise the time for that will come later! (The news reading and email checking process shouldn't take more than an hour)

 - Do your chores - cleaning laundry etc. (Help mom/wife/husband/kid)

 - Sit on a desk - or any table that may sorta feel like a desk (Your designated work station) Scan all job listings again - Sign up for free courses - learn new skills like a new language, new software, writing etc. Something that keeps you busy and can give you a feasible answer to give to potential employers about the gap in your resume - (Though most employers don't ask too many questions anymore because they know the job situation now - however saying that you were taking a language course or learning a skill like graphic designing or whatever - sounds wayy better then "I was looking for a job". Heck volunteer even! (If you can afford to and don't have dependants) cause there are always people less fortunate then you! ALWAYS!!! Even if you were born without any arms and legs and blind at the same time - there will STILL be someone less fortunate then you!! Apply online for free lance work! Lots of options available!

If you can afford it then you can always learn other things too like cooking (A skill I guarantee you will never regret!), sports, playing a musical instrument, juggling, acting, singing, sewing, photography, first aid, veterinary assistantship etc.. The world is yours!

 - Lunch: (cook for someone else for a change - might even help get you out of your funk - if you know how)

 - In the evening go for a walk and do the "Sitting on a bench outside" exercise

 - Night: now is the time to indulge in some form of entertainment - whatever you prefer - just don’t stay up late!

 - Over the weekend - SOCIALIZE!

Do not sit though another weekend hiding away from everyone cause you don’t wanna answer awkward questions on why you still don't have a job! There are more people like you out then you realize!

My suggestion is that you go and meet up with friends over the weekend - especially the ones that are employed and ask them about their work .. (Everyone loves talking about their work - mostly just ranting on about how much they hate their job) Listen to them and ask them all things current about the work sphere - anything that can help you .. and if you need help practicing for an interview then can even pretend to be their toughest boss and help you practice!

Just whatever you do keep meeting people and increasing networks - heck, a friend of a friend of a friend might even be looking to hire someone and that could be your dream job and they could connect you through! And you would have missed that opportunity cause you opted to stay stuck on your couch eating ice cream and pizza and watching TV while wallowing in self pity!

So... that's that … I hope I made my mark with all my surviving unemployment depression tips! And I would like to wish you the best of luck in finding a new job! Hang in there - there's light at the end of the tunnel yet!

This post may have been a bit specific - but I know there are more people like this out there - and I hope you get to read this and it helps you out! 

Voodoo Balloons!

Avoiding bad juju on your birthday is a must!

My life as a box of Kleenex!

Our teacher once asked us that if we ever had to write a book about our life, what would we call it?... I guess I'd call mine "My life as a box of Kleenex"

I am a good friend.

That's a statement which I can proudly say. But does anyone know how much effort goes behind that?

My entire life till this far has been a series of people who I have been used and abused by... I am the box of Kleenex who is there for everyone whenever they need me.. To wipe their dirt on, to wipe away the tears for, share their sweat with and to help mop up any mess they made and then once used, to be finally crumpled up and thrown away into the waste paper basket.

Why do I do this? Why am I the friend who will call you up randomly in the middle of a busy day just to tell you to hang in there… The friend who keeps in touch just to let you know that you are not alone, the one always makes the short and sweet plans just to meet up, keeps track of all the birthdays and other events in your life just to surprise you. Buys you a gift whenever I see something that I know you would like, when out shopping (without waiting for the occasion) and like your handy box of Kleenex, make an effort to always be there to lend a hand or a shoulder to cry on or to simply sit in silence to listen to your woes or give you company.

Why do I do all these things and expect nothing in return? So far people have always forgotten about me in return.

Do I do this because I am great? Or because I am an idiot? This can always be argued.

Do I fill the hole for other peoples’ hearts because mine is irrevocably broken to the point of no return? Perhaps?

Do I do all of the things for others that I secretly covet for someone to do for me? Maybe?

Am just so broken that all I know how to do is fix other people? Sounds compelling.

But the truth is - I don't know... I really don’t.

At the end of the day I have a smile on my face because I have fought my silent battle to help make the world for the people around me a better place... Yes they may use me and throw me away and move on with their lives.. Not give me any outward acknowledgement or on occasion any sincere gesture to show that I even exist! But the battle that took place has been recorded in the history of my mind. It may also be forgotten someday but I will always know the part I played in it to help them win their sanity and comfort. 

Should this conversation happen?

I know I have not posted anything new in a while – and now when I do it’s because I am facing a dilemma. Please feel free to comment below and let me know if this conversation sounds too selfish or lame or mean or whatever… basically if I should go ahead with it or not.

A: Hey man.. I feel empowered today!

B: Haha okayy.. So uh what did u do?

A: I decided to remove someone from my life!

B: Who? That loser u dated?

A: No that was one date..

B: Uh then who? 

A: This is an old friend... I guess it was a long time coming.. Things always felt one sided and I had started to feel like I was being used... I mean I didn't expect her to come running jumping to help me all the time like I would.. Just wanted the courtesy from her to hear me out at least.. and at least apologize and promise a rain check if it doesn't happen at the time I wanted.. But it felt like she didn't care at all...

B: Maybe the friend was busy?

A: No this went beyond that.. You can be busy once or twice but being perpetually busy for a couple of years is too much.. What do you think?

B: Yeah I guess..

A: I always felt like I was just being kept around to be taken advantage of..

B: I guess a lot of people do that?

A: But it's not right! Look at it from the point of view of the person being used.. It's ok of it's a two way street.. But when it's one sided it's got to go! Don't you agree?

B: Yeah I see your point..

A: Well the truth is old friend I lied..

B: Lied about what?

A: Lied to you that it's an old friend.. It's actually you..

B: *silence*

A: I didn't know how else to convey how I felt because you never listen to me unless I have gossip..

B: But that's not true!

A: Isn't it?

B: Ok I'm not a heart to heart person..

A: I'm sorry but that's what I need right now.. Someone who can be there for me the same way I’m always there for you..

B: I didn't mean to hurt you..

A: It's alright.. I know that, But it's been real man.. Good bye.

Does it sound too "ambushy"? Maybe I should just let it slide... :( 

Reflections...

Another year has come and gone – and yeah it’s a bit of a cliché but I decided to reflect away anyway...

 At least I’m not making any resolutions!

So here goes.. my reflections at the end of this year:

-          We may never really know why is life the way it is – Shit just happens and we just have to deal with it.

-          We are at a stage in our life where we have all the time in the world and yet it is so fleeting it could just pass us by without knowing.

-          I can do whatever I want – just wish I knew what I wanted to do???

-          God will always reward you for your prayers – just not always answer them.

Well, that’s about it... It didn't go out with quite the bang I hoped for – but I still got some time…

Happy New Year everyone! Stay safe and keep happy! 

a drawing of a dog!

Alrighty then... I just realized that my latest posts seem too heavy – so here’s a drawing of a dog - just to lighten the mood!

You can name ‘em whatever you like!  =)

The Constipated Module

The End.

Oh heavy be your insides after it has been taken apart

Not knowing how far goes the desire of my heart

I like the sinking feeling

It leaves me up and reeling

Standing on the edge is not alone

Many more be with you – by your side

Followers be warned

The end is exactly what it is..

The end of the end.

What’s it like to live life, you ask?

What’s it like to live life? I tell you, life is like a vast primordial sky.. never ending and you are just born falling.

Initially you have a lot of cloud cover and you feel very soft, comfortable and exist in almost a dream-like state - but they only provide a feeling of softness but don’t actually slow you down or anything like in the cartoons. But a false sense of softness prevails as long as the cloud cover remains. Once you run out of clouds its nothing but a clear view of the ground below and your impending death.

This process however is gradual. They begin to thin out as you age until you near the ground and there aren't any left.

However it’s not just aimless falling.. you do have an aim. And it is to catch a door! Yup, you heard it right… to catch a door! There are thousands of them – just flying around randomly. Some beautiful while others are hideous but the problem is that all of these doors have wings. They dart about the sky and you have to do your best to catch one and go through.

There are only three options. You either catch your door early on, or real late in life, right before you hit the ground or you miss all of them and fall straight to your death.

Of course there is the rare possibility that you may catch one with the tip of your fingers and manage to hold on long enough till you reach the ground and then finally the door slips away and you are left standing on the ground, scratching your head and wondering – “what next?”. But the probability of that happening is very low and this is quite possibly a myth.

But why are there so many different types of doors, you wonder? Well now this is the complicated bit – yup more complicated then catching winged doors when falling to your death. Some people actually catch a door and let it go to take a risk and catch a better one. Some manage that while others don’t – it’s entirely a game of luck. You can always accept your door or take a huge risk and try to catch a better one. Most people are too scared to take the risk and stick to what they get. While others manage to let go and catch many doors throughout their entire fall.

Your fall doesn't have to be a lonely process. You can always make friends while falling – hold hands, and help each other reach the door you want and/or propel through the sky in a team formation – this way at the end even if you never caught any door you still enjoyed the ride!

Now you can’t take it any longer.. WHERE do these doors lead to, you demand? Well… honestly I haven’t figured that part out myself yet .. I am still young and still have plenty of cloud cover to help keep me in a dream-like state to know or care!

Happy flying everybody!  

The Constant Heart Life Cycle!

Why jobs aren't so great – Letter to Dad

Hi Dad,

I finally got a job. It’s a prestigious organization… You can now brag about it to your friends J

I know you will go around telling people how awesome my job is, but Dad… I don’t like it.

I know I sound ungrateful especially when I had to work so hard to get this job but they give me such pointless, lengthy and boring things to do. Yeah I am still a junior assistant and this is to be expected but honestly dad is this what life is going to be like from now on?

Do I continue lying to people about how amazing my job is while in fact it’s just making me feel even more low and useless? At what point do I start believing my lies? Does everyone lie? Is everyone this miserable at work?

Why do I feel like I will be stuck at this desk forever and never get time to do the things I really want? It has only been a couple of weeks and all my major plans in life have already taken the back-seat. How long will it take for me get time off to do everything I want to do?

This feels like a prison with wooden shackles making me sit down when I want to run and hop and skip and jump and play. Will my back not hurt from sitting down for so long? Will my eyes not hurt from staring at the computer screen for so long? Will I ever get time to go outside and paint again? I am not sure if this is even healthy!?

Why is it so important for me to work here? Why would you find it demeaning if I quit and start teaching kindergarten? That is an important job too. It’s the first form of proper education a child gets and shapes their entire future perspective on education. I love kids. Why do I ‘have’ to be a feminist? Why can’t I be a housewife? They don’t get paid but have more fulfilling lives. Mom is a housewife. She is a great mom and I want to be that too. I would even have time to run an animal shelter like I always wanted and even volunteer more. Anything is better than working at an organization.

I always felt that there was so much more to life all through my student life. Now I don’t know what else to say dad.

I just wanted you to know how I feel.

-          Your daughter. 

Peripheral Poem

Being able to write poetry is an art form … not something I could ever excel at, the best poem I could ever come up with was more like a nursery rhyme:

Once I went down a path

And on the way I met a cat

The cat’s name was Buffin

He reminded me of the muffin

Which lay in the kitchen…

Where my mother was cooking a chicken

So yeah, that has been the standard of poems I could ever write. But recently I learned that most of the greatest poets were inebriated in some way or another when they came up with their best work.

So of course after reading that I was like hmmm……

Well long story short – this is what I managed to scribble down:

Peripheral

Lordy and blinding

Bumpy and lounging

Brisk and pounding

It races against my heart like a second heart

That beats ever more frantically then the first

I try to take my mind off things

But up it goes against my will

Hanging low like a dead bird on a telephone wire

I will hang your shoes one day

Only to see how far you will go (to retrieve them?)

I have no idea what I was going through my head at the time... and I don’t know what “Lordy” is .. Perhaps I was trying to say “Lordly”??

And I never completed the last sentence – it read: “Only to see how far you will go... “ and the rest was some indistinguishable scribble which I assumed would have been about retrieving a pair of shoes that have been hung high?

It certainly doesn’t feel like anything I have ever written before… Maybe this is what poets feel like when they read their work once they are sober?

Well I think it’s time to break it down and try to make some sense out of it

-          I have no idea what the starting is about – can’t seem to make head or tail

-          The part about the two hearts beating against each other seems to be a description of one frightened person comforting the other

-          I’m trying to recall what must have I been thinking about in the end – I had seen Tim Burton’s movie ‘Big Fish’ recently so that’s from where I must have gotten the idea of shoes hanging high?

And that’s about it I suppose… it will always remain a mystery unless anyone else can decipher it better than me –

 I am open to interpretations… 

The schizophrenic chair saga continues …

Another episode of nightmares induced by the schizophrenic chair –

I saw a diseased orange this time:

Rebels don't eat muffins and ways to get a job!

The nightmares still continue .. and maybe someday soon enough I will have the courage to narrate a full dream here instead of just pictures from my dream diary.
But enough of that -

 I really don't think that rebels like muffins ... cupcakes maybe? what do you all think?

And if unemployment has gotten you down .. then here is an almost surefire way to get a job:

Just walk-in a relatively mediocre restaurant or diner and put on a crazy-eyed and manic expression and say:

Hope it helps =) 

Draw-A-Catfish Competition:

(Update: I'm still taking in late entries, so email me your drawing at blue.dead.flower.girl@gmail.com and/or vote for your favorite drawing here in the comment section below!)

Alright here we have the entries so far… and I will continue to update as new entries keep coming in throughout the coming weeks:

(See previous post to participate)

These were sent in by two friends – one claims that the other cheated her style! Well I don’t think so – she clearly tried to make it her own by making a sad face and putting up the caption “Why so serious”

 Good work and keep ‘em coming you guys! I wanna see more catfish drawings!

Ok so now I have been inspired to draw my own red catfish! 

I don’t have words to describe this interesting artwork – but thanks anyway for the drawing bud! 

Aah we now have an authentic catfish – complete with sexy moustache! 

Awww.. now this is creative! I love it! Detective Mittens to the rescue!

Va-va-vooom! A kitty mermaid!

Sending in my own version of a Cat-eel!

Finally some technology! A cute winking kitty-fish doodled on cell phone 

Now this here is a beaut! Classic drawing! Love it!

More like - ugly duckling with measles!

Hahaha creativity coming though like an advertisement:

Keep sending-in the good stuff people!...

Update: Got some more entries ! Yayy!!

Even though there was a really long gap - but I'm still grateful you guys sent me more pictures! :) Check out this rendition - pen and marker designing! 

Awwww! This is one cute catfish equation! 

Announcement:

Alright people it’s that time of year – I am now hosting a Draw-A-Catfish competition!

Winner gets … uh... to see his/her entry alongside all the other entries on my blog and can show off that how much better they are at drawing a catfish than everyone else!!

So get out your pen/pencil/stylus/finger or whatever you have around you ready – scribble me a catfish and take a pic of it and send it here: blue.dead.flower.girl@gmail.com

There are no deadlines and the only rules are that the submission should be original and creative! 

Describing Happiness

If I had to describe happiness I’d say it’s like this tiny inflated soap bubble in the pit of your stomach – just as fragile – but it’s the temporary feeling of fullness and lightness that the bubble provides is what makes it so special.

The larger the happiness the stronger will be your bubble. There will be times when your happiness will be so great that the strong little bubble will give you the feeling as if you have been lifted off your feet and floating in mid-air!

Coming back to reality is just as quick as the pop of the bubble. One minute it’s there and then as soon as realization hits – pop – it’s gone. 

So I wish all of you out there a bubble filled day!

*dang why am I being so mushy?

The schizophrenic chair again!

I can’t seem to get that schizophrenic chair out of mind … its giving me nightmares now! 

Fear

When I was a kid I didn’t know what fear looked like. I always thought it was something like being shy. I was never really scared of anything. I loved climbing trees, sitting on ledges and chasing after stray animals. I knew what being scared was .. it was the feeling you got when you spilled milk on the table and were trying to clean up the mess before your mom returned to the kitchen!

But fear didn’t enter my vocabulary till I was 4 years old.  

The day I figured out what fear really looks like:

It was an ordinary day and I was travelling in the car with my family. We had stopped to pick up a few things on the way home and I decided to wait in the car with my dad and brother. After a while my dad sent my brother to the store across the street to get a loaf of bread.

While he was crossing, a car came out of nowhere and started speeding towards my brother. And he had his back towards it and could not see the car.

My father got up to shout to my brother but before he could do anything the car just sped away - missing my brother by inches.

My brother probably didn’t even realize how close he had been and was completely calm. While the look of terror on my dad’s face is something I will never forget.

Feeling scared is common but actually seeing it for the first time on someone else’s face was very different.

I know that this is not a thrilling story and I have seen much more and much worse things in my life but that was the day I realized that I did not want to ever see that look on my dad’s face again. If I could help it I’d do everything possible to make sure that he wasn’t fearful for us ever again. 

Why I suck at drawing stuff that normal people understand Part-2

Setting the bar of lameness even lower than before… I now refuse to draw stuff I don’t want to!

Why I suck at drawing stuff that normal people understand Part-1